To the one who confused me a lot... before?

To whom it may concern;

It’s been a while since I felt this… and until now I’m still wondering…

There are lots of things that I’ve tried to tell you, but I can’t...

There are lots of questions that I’ve wanted to ask you, and still I can’t…

Actually, there are lots of things running in my mind at this moment.

The funny thing is… I don’t know why I have to, or maybe I really have to.

For almost three months,

I chose to hear nothing from you.

I chose not to communicate.

I chose to stay away.

I chose to save myself.

For almost three months, I felt like I’m freed. J

Even though, there were times that I was tempted…

There were times that I missed you.

I’m becoming fine… a lot happier…

Until, I received a  request from you… again…

I was shocked. Indeed, I was…

 It took me seconds… minutes… hours…

Before I decided to confirm your request…

                                                                       

I knew that when I confirmed… 

Those “I chose to hear nothing, not to communicate,

to stay away” didn’t save me at all.

My favorite professor kept on telling us that

“The only person who could save you is yourself.”

I used to believe that too, but I thought…

Wouldn’t it be a lot easier if someone will help?

In my case… would you be that someone?

You started to ask me questions which I prefer

not to answer anymore. You started to remind

me things which I prefer not to remember

if possible. Just this, I want to know why? WHY?

Just that…

----From the one you confused the most.