Don't Wreck it! ^^

We stay up late every night. Regret it every morning. Then, do it again. The exact words I'm currently into. hahaha!

We'll... CV is over. It's time to work again. I was actually having my "homework" (doing work at home) when something came up. That "one-person-you'll-never-get-over-no-matter-how-long-it's-been" FB chat me. Same words... Same ways... Same feelings...  >_<

After being reconnected with him last Christmas eve, I really don't know what to feel anymore. 

I'm getting used to that scenario like for the nth time. He'll initiate the FB conversation; I'll reply back and history repeats itself. 

We're now literally separated. He's there across the ocean and I'm here. His uploaded pictures proved how happy and how he's enjoying his life there at the moment. Honestly, I'm happy for him, because I know he is.

During our recent conversations, there is this one question I've been wanting to ask him. But, I can't... and I'd rather not to... which reminds me of being so over dramatic months ago during the time when he told me about his plans of going across the ocean. It felt like you're drowning in the deepest ocean in the world. It felt like the world renowned lifeguard failed to rescue you, It felt like you got stranded in an island far far away, and there you're lost. And even if there are people who are willing to help, they can't... because you can't find your way back home. </3

You know what's funny? I failed to tell him what I really felt. I actually prepared a 4-page letter for him and I planned to give it as my farewell gift. But the I am no superhero here. I simply can't. :)

 ---------------- </3                                                                                                     

May 22, 2013

1:00 A.M.

To the one who made me changed,

I really like you or almost love. I’ve changed the way I think because of you.  You wouldn’t think how much I wanted to see you. I wanted to see you kahit hindi mo ako makita- That would satisfy me. Imagined me attending a 5 P.M. mass kasi alam kong may possibility na makita kita but then again that would not suffice to get rid the pain here

Sorry if I can’t stop liking you like I really wanted to.
The saddest part... wala narin akong choice kung hindi ilet-go ko yung feelings ko for you. [Ihulog muna lang sana mula sa airplane para tangayin ng hangin] 

Siguro nga pinadaan ka lang “Niya”, for me to learn lots of things. I’ve got highest wall of pride. I built it to protect myself from hurting, but I chose to put it down for you. Therefore, I chose to be hurt.
                                                                                       Truly yours,
                                                                                                 From the one you missed. J

-An excerpt from the longest and most heartbreaking confession ever...